You Don't Need to Find Yourself. You need to remove everything you were taught to be that isn't actually you.

One of the most common things I hear from women is:

"I just need to find myself."

And every time I hear it, I want to lovingly call bullshit.

Not because the feeling isn't real. It is.

The feeling of being disconnected from yourself is incredibly real.

The exhaustion.

The confusion.

The sense that you've somehow wandered away from who you truly are.

I've felt it too.

But here's what I don't believe:

I don't believe you've lost yourself.

I don't believe you've misplaced your authentic self somewhere along the way.

And I certainly don't believe you need to go on some heroic quest to find who you are.

Because you already are who you are.

You can't lose yourself.

You can only lose connection to yourself.

And those are very different things.

Think about it.

When you were born, you arrived with a unique soul imprint.

A unique way of seeing the world.

A unique energy.

A unique set of gifts, preferences, curiosities, and desires.

You didn't have to earn those.

You didn't have to create them.

They came with you.

Then life happened.

People started telling you who you should be.

What success looks like.

What is acceptable.

What is responsible.

What is realistic.

What is worthy of approval.

Some of those messages were helpful.

Many weren't.

And over time, layer after layer got added on top of your original self.

Until eventually the noise became louder than your own voice.

Now you're trying to figure out who you are while listening to everyone except yourself.

No wonder it feels confusing.

The women I work with are often convinced they need more clarity.

More information.

Another course.

Another certification.

Another strategy.

But what they usually need isn't more.

They need less.

Less noise.

Less conditioning.

Less pressure.

Less performing.

Because the truth is, your authentic self is still underneath all of it.

Waiting.

Patiently.

And every time you tell the truth instead of saying what people want to hear...

Every time you choose what feels right instead of what looks good...

Every time you honor your own desires instead of someone else's expectations...

You uncover a little more of yourself.

That's why I don't see this work as becoming someone new.

I see it as excavation.

Removing what doesn't belong.

Peeling back the layers.

Clearing away the debris.

Your authentic self isn't something you create.

It's something you reveal.

And the beautiful part?

The more you remove what isn't you, the easier life becomes.

Decisions get clearer.

Relationships get cleaner.

Your path becomes more obvious.

Not because you've figured everything out.

But because you're finally listening to the right person.

So if you've been telling yourself you need to find yourself...

What if the real question is:

What do I need to stop pretending to be?

Because the answer you're looking for might not be hiding somewhere out there.

It might be waiting underneath everything you've been carrying.

💜 Abi