This morning, I was standing in my kitchen trying to decide whether I was going to get Starbucks.

On the surface, it sounds like a small decision. But if you've ever been on a health journey, you know it's rarely about the coffee.

I've been doing really well lately. I'm down nearly 60 pounds, eating clean, working out consistently, and making progress. But life has also been happening. We recently moved. One challenge seems to be following another. I'm using whatever energy I have left to show up for my clients, and that leaves very little available for willpower.

Suddenly, a Venti Oatmilk Matcha with non-dairy chocolate cold foam became a symbol of comfort, relief, and control.

And yes, I got it.

What followed was a little shame spiral, but it also led me into a deeper reflection about resistance and what happens when the part of us that wants the result collides with the part of us that simply wants a break.

If you've ever felt pulled between what you're supposed to do and what you feel like doing, you'll understand.

Sometimes it's a small stumble.

Other times it feels like an all-out war with yourself.

Over the years, I've learned that resistance isn't a sign something is wrong. It's part of the process. These are a few of the mindset shifts that help me keep going when I feel like giving up.

1. I Expect Resistance

One thing I've noticed is that every ten pounds or so, I hit a major roadblock.

In fact, one of those roadblocks lasted an entire year.

Now that I know it's coming, I prepare for it. I recognize it as homeostasis—the point where my body starts perceiving change as a threat and tries to pull me back to what's familiar.

Instead of being surprised by the resistance, I plan for it. I keep tempting foods out of the house. I prepare extra meals ahead of time. I limit situations that make it harder for me to stay aligned with my goals.

You likely have your own version of this line. A place where your system begins to push back. When you know where it is, you can prepare for it instead of being blindsided by it.

2. I Don't Force My Way Through It

I've learned that gritting my teeth and trying to overpower resistance doesn't work for me.

My body eventually revolts.

Instead, I treat it like a conversation.

When resistance shows up, I ask my body what it needs. Then we negotiate.

That morning, my body wanted the entire week off.

I wasn't willing to do that.

Eventually, we reached a compromise: stay on plan with food, take a break from workouts, and have the Starbucks.

It sounds silly, but it works.

I've found that when my body feels heard, it becomes much easier to move forward together.

3. I Give Myself Permission to Quit

This one surprises people.

When resistance is at its peak and I feel completely stuck, I give myself permission to quit.

I put everything down.

I allow myself to be done.

Usually, within an hour or two, something shifts.

The pressure disappears. The internal battle quiets down. And when I check back in with myself, I often discover I don't actually want to quit anymore.

I simply wanted relief from fighting myself.

One important caveat: I also give myself permission to unquit at any time.

4. I Remove Timelines and Expectations

Nothing kills my motivation faster than turning my health journey into a race.

The moment I attach rigid timelines and deadlines to it, everything changes.

What was once a process of learning, healing, and building sustainable habits suddenly becomes an obstacle course with a stopwatch attached to it.

For me, that creates stress.

And stress creates resistance.

I've learned that progress happens much more naturally when I focus on the journey instead of trying to force a specific timeline.

5. I Practice Radical Compassion

Perhaps the most important shift of all is learning to be compassionate with myself.

When I feel disappointed, I let myself feel disappointed.

When I wish I were doing better, I let myself wish that.

When I don't want to do something, I acknowledge that truth before deciding what action I'm going to take.

I don't force positive thinking.

I don't pretend everything is fine.

I don't try to convince myself that I should feel differently than I do.

I simply allow myself to be human.

The whole process is a dance.

Sometimes it's graceful.

Sometimes it's messy.

Sometimes it's the most beautiful waltz with myself.

Sometimes it's a very abrupt tango.

But all of it is part of the journey.

And all of it is okay.

So yes, I had the Starbucks.

Yes, I feel a little guilty about it.

And yes, I'm still going to keep going.

Because one imperfect choice doesn't erase months of progress.

One hard day doesn't invalidate the journey.

And resistance doesn't mean you're failing.

It simply means you're growing.

💜Abi