What It Means to Be a Mirror

Nov 09, 2021
What does it mean when someone says “They’re being a mirror for you”?
This term “being a mirror” especially in regards to other people, is being thrown around a lot recently and I just want to make sure you know what it means.
When someone is a mirror for you it means that you are seeing something in them that is present in yourself.
They are “reflecting” back to you a characteristic, trait, event or experience.
This is also what it means when people say “your outside world is a reflection of you”.
There’s a long, complicated scientific explanation for this, but in short it’s due to something called “reticular activation”.
Reticular activation means essentially when your brain becomes aware of a thing and then suddenly starts scanning the outside world for that thing. I.e. You have never seen a Honda CR-V and then you buy one and suddenly it seems like everyone has one. You have just been reticularly activated for Honda CR-Vs.
So when someone triggers an emotion in you, without having the intent to do so, it is because something is present within you that needs your attention. Your reticular activation has begun (or continued if you have already become aware of it but haven’t dealt with it yet).
Sometimes, someone will mirror back the positive, amazing, gorgeous things about you showing you how truly splendid you really are.
You will recognize that because you notice you always feel uplifted in that person’s presence.
And other times someone will mirror a characteristic that you don’t care for about yourself, a wound that needs healing, a limiting belief that is revealing itself or a characteristic that you are afraid of taking on.
That will be hard to miss because it will trigger rage, jealousy, self-loathing- like this skin-peeling off feeling that you can’t stand and have to get away from.
The more clearly a person mirrors you, the more emotional swings you will experience. It can be a very unpleasant feeling that you will often be tempted to blame on the person triggering you.
But, since no one controls your emotions but you, ultimately it is your job to notice what is being reflected back to you by this person and work on healing and accepting it.
Ask yourself these questions, whenever you feel triggered by someone around you in an unpleasant or uncomfortable way:
What is this experience trying to teach me? What needs healing? What parts of me need to be accepted? What parts of me need to be released or transformed? How can I accomplish this?
You’re not alone. This is something we all go through. The more radically honest you are willing to be with yourself, the more beautiful your life experience will be.
You’ve got this. 💜


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