Being human is on my mind a lot right now

I’m faced with my own humanity on a daily basis. And it’s not an easy one - there’s a part of me that loves my quirks and idiosyncrasies

And there’s a very real part that is horrified that I’m not, and never will be, perfect.

I’m also seeing my 50 Shades of Green cohort jostle with their humanity.

I’m seeing my coaches jostle with theirs.

And I’ve been thinking about it deeply, especially wondering where our deep disdain with our imperfections and humanity comes from.

And then I went back to adding a few design options to my new Cadence app.

The current addition: Building in the opportunity to take a day off without being penalized for it.

Either a whole day off habits or a partial day if there are habits I’m used to doing and want to earn points for since I’ll be doing them anyway.

As I was working on the function to take a day off without it affecting your streaks, your percentage completion insights, and your visual tracking aides that help you see where your consistency is, reducing your points etc…

I started to feel the edge in what I’m creating.

I felt the visceral sensation: this is new.

As I traced that back to understand why this seemingly simple thing felt so new, I started to scan my life for times when I have rested from something - work, a project, school etc - that I didn’t feel … not only guilty … but PENALIZED. Where I didn’t feel punished.

I couldn’t find one. Some are natural consequences, some are forced… but there were no examples I could see of a time where rest didn’t equal some kind of unpleasant experience.

I took a day off an app… I lost my progress.

I took a day off my food plan (especially if it included sugar), my cravings came back

I took time away from work, a job, a project: I had to use sick or vacation time, got behind, came back to tons of unread emails and texts etc.

Every activity that doesn’t have a 💯 completion rate has a “punishment” of some kind attached to it. It is so built in, I added it to my apps without a second thought.

It is only in my lived experience of Cadence that I felt the pressure of my habits on a day I just don’t want any pressure.

But was prepared to move into force, so that I didn’t lose my streak.

I caught myself in that loop and thought: No. I want a day off and I don’t want to be punished for it (that is the entire premise behind Cadence - build new habits from a place of desire not shame)

More than one day off in a week will start to build inertia & resistance towards the habits. But there should always be at least one rest day.

Now that I’ve seen that, I’m building it in everywhere.

And I wanted to point right at this today because we are both told we are SUPPOSED to rest, and then we are punished for resting.

A gaslighting system - no wonder so many people are dismissive of rest and play.

 

They’d rather force through than feel the weight of the negative consequences WHEN you rest and play. 😖🥵