This morning, I was standing in my kitchen, deciding if I was going to get a Starbucks or not.

I’ve been doing great—eating clean, working out, at around 70% consistent with my plan and down just shy of 60 lbs. But life is happening right now. We just moved, we are dealing with one situation after the other, I’m using whatever energy I have left to show up for my clients and it’s leaving very little to manage willpower.  

Suddenly, that Venti Oatmilk Matcha with non-dairy chocolate cold foam became a symbol of comfort and control I felt compelled to surrender to. (Yes. I got it. ) 

It did come with a little shame spiral, but that turned into some deeper introspection that I wanted to share with you. 

Maybe you can relate to this pull of what you are 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 to do vs what you 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑒𝑙 like doing… 

Sometimes it’s just a small stumble, and other times (like today) I’m all-out at war with myself. 

I want to share a few important mindset shifts & tools I’m using to support myself in continuing taking care of my health, even when I’m close to giving up. 

𝟏) 𝐈 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐎𝐑 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐛𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧. (My second 10 lb roadblock lasted 1 year!) 

Since I know it’s coming, I can mentally prepare for it. It’s homeostasis - that’s the point at which my body thinks it’s in danger and works to “protect” me from further weight loss. I anticipate the resistance and keep junk food out of the house. I prep a little extra food so I have some on hand for when the munchies hit, and fold it into my mealtime. I go out a little less so I’m not tempted to drink and then eat bunches of junk. 

You will also have a line of where your body moves into sabotage - notice where yours is, and when it pops up you’ll be prepared for it. 

𝟐) 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞. 

Just trying to muscle through or grit my teeth and push through the resistance does not work for me. I’m ignoring my body’s request for softness and calibration. It revolts! Without my body on board, nothing can be done - I know we have to get into agreement. 

It becomes a conversation: I ask my body what it wants and I decide if that is something I’m willing to do. If not, I offer an alternative suggestion until we reach an agreement. 

This morning that looked like this: 

My body: I’m done with this shit. I’m not doing it anymore. 

Me: I hear you. But I’m committed to your request of ultimate health, so I’m not prepared to stop. What can we do instead? 

My body: Can you give me the rest of the week off? 

Me: I cannot. A lot of damage can be done in a week. What about if I give you the morning off? 

My body: What about the day? 

Me: How about we eat the meals on plan, and take a rest on the workouts for today? 

My body: How about the week? 

Me: Yup! We can take the week off workouts. 

My body: Okay. I’ll just take the morning off. 

Me: What do you want? 

My body: Starbucks! 

𝟑) 𝐈 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭. 

When my resistance is at its peak and I really feel STUCK, I “quit”. I put it all down. I let myself be done with it. 

Usually after an hour or two, the desire to quit passes. My mental state has shifted because I’m not battling myself anymore, and when I ask my body what it wants, it wants to stay on plan. 

NB: I also give myself permission to “𝑢𝑛𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡” at any time. 

𝟒) 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. 

Setting any kind of time based goal puts me into a state of stress. What was a meandering journey of learning behaviors to keep me at ultimate health, now becomes a sequence of obstacles courses I have to overcome with a stopwatch screaming into my ears “DO BETTER!!”. 

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. That will last all of 10 seconds before I fire everyone involved. 

𝟓) 𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 

When I feel like a failure, I let myself feel it, rather than try to explain it away. If I wish I was doing better, I let myself wish it rather than force-feed my successes to myself and shove my wins down my throat. When I don’t want to, I let myself not want to and still allow myself the space to make a decision of whether I do or don’t actually 𝐝𝐨 something. 

It’s a dance. The whole process is sometimes the most beautiful waltz with myself and sometimes the most abrupt tango. 

All of it is okay. And it’s working. 

So yeah. I feel bad about having a Starbucks today. I’m not looking forward to sharing this (and my other slips this week) with my coach on Saturday. 

And it’s still going to be fine. I’m still going to keep going. 

It’s all part of it.