𝐈’𝐦 𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲//

Because sometimes transformation and growth is utter bullshit.

Sometimes, I look up at my Higher Self and ask “What the fuck were you thinking signing us up for this??”

I ride the edge of my growth hard. (Imagine a surfer constantly riding bigger and badder waves )

Every time something comes up, instead of looking away or shoving it down, I turn right to it, give it a big wet kiss, and dive in.

I love this about myself because it’s fun, and exciting and every single day is different.

If your impression of me is based on who you met even weeks ago, it’s already outdated.

Blink and you’ll miss my next evolution.

𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑨𝑳𝑺𝑶: living like this has major drawbacks.

One of them: building a personal brand based on yourself, when you shift and grow day to day is… elusive.

I can’t stake my claim on much because it might be different next week.

Every time I’ve 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑙𝑙𝑙𝑙𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 got my hands wrapped around who I am in a way that I can articulate, I no longer recognize or resonate with that version of myself.

It’s one of the reasons I don’t teach the same class twice.

By the time the second class comes around, it feels like I’m re-reading a newspaper from 1984. So much life has happened since then, I can’t remember who I was when I created the class in the first place.

(That doesn’t mean my content isn’t relevant - it stays relevant. I just don’t align with re-teaching it at the old frequency)

And today… I’m annoyed by this.

I watch as people build empires based on knowing who they are and what they do, in a way they can easily articulate and showcase.

And I want that.

But I also know my legacy is not going to be built on who I am now.

It will be built on who I am becoming.

And that’s going to take a minute to unfold as I keep chunking off parts of me that are wounded and distorted.

And the irony is that I’m only suffering because I’m resisting what is. I’m only irritated because I want to be past this bit already

And this is where I am.

I don’t want to be here. I feel like I’m pulling on the reigns of a horse that will only go as fast as it will go, no matter how hard I pull.

I want to be grander. I want to be the fullest version of my self-expression.

And that’s okay too. It’s all okay

So today, I’m going to sink into my irritation and see what it has to show me, messy bits and all.

If you can relate, I invite you to do that too