I was the epitome of damaged goods when I met my man…

One of my greatest gifts is his patience and his willingness to come back to the table after I had been a shithead

I’d been working on healing my relationship trauma, but it was a bit of a shit show if I’m honest

I was too smart.

I knew how to fake intimacy so well, that no one had caught me faking it

Not even me

I had endless epithets to redirect away from taking responsibility for healing my disorganized attachment

“It just wasn’t meant to be”

“He wasn’t my person”

“If we are destined for each other we will find our way back to each other”

“I’m so open and available, he must just not be able to handle my depth”

But meeting my man flipped the world on its head

He was unmanipulatable. Unmanageable. And unwilling to be controlled. A total free & sovereign spirit.

It was the most enraging thing I’d ever experienced.

There were times I genuinely felt that - if I could breathe fire - I would’ve burned down mountains.

And he swept me off my feet. Because HE wanted to. Not because I ordered it.

Every time I crossed a boundary of sovereignty

He didn’t get angry

He didn’t shame me

He simply said “I’m not playing that game with you”

And I didn’t hear from him again until I took authentic responsibility for what I had said or done and made amends.

He had experienced his fair share of controlling women, so it was a hair trigger boundary for him

And every time he forgave me completely. It never came up again.

I’m certain there were times it would’ve been easier for him to walk away. I know I shouted at the ceiling often and very emphatically about how done I was. But he didn’t. And neither did I.

We just kept coming back to the table

The level of grace this man has is inspiring. He inspires me to be a better person. I didn’t think that was possible. (I was pretty inspired before I met him)

And now peace. Harmony.

Today he went to the chiropractor and came back with Ferrero Rocher for me 🥰

He made dinner.

He made the most delicious dessert I’ve ever eaten.

And I’m just so endlessly grateful for his patience. I wouldn’t have stuck around for me. I’m so happy he did. 🥰