Healing Relationship Trauma

Uncategorized Feb 28, 2022
As I move deeper into my healing, I’m learning so much.
 
One of the things that is fascinating and kind of sad, is that when you’ve been in a string of toxic relationships, your brain is so indoctrinated to the rollercoaster of emotions, that a relationship based on mutual respect, consideration of the other person’s feelings, needs and desires, compassion, open communication, vulnerability and honesty seems ….
 
Almost boring.
 
Where are the nights of desperate insecurity?
Where are the endless tears from the most recent rejection?
Where are the agonizing moments of trying to find a way to make that person see you, hear you, respect you & love you?
 
What about the hours or days you have to wait for a response to the last thing you said? Obsessing about what they might be thinking 🤔 What you may have said that was wrong. How you can fix what you don’t know is wrong 😑
 
The predictability of follow through, from someone who is a person of their word
The consistency of emotions
The lack of gaslighting, minimizing & invalidation
The open, vulnerable, consistent communication
Seems so foreign. It’s like learning to love an alien species. I would imagine 🤷🏻‍♀️
 
And the brain can be in danger of reading that lack of drama as …. BORING.
 
The thing is, that when the relationship is even-keel, the experiences within the relationship can flourish, deepen and bring an excitement and a soul-igniting passion that you can never reach when you don’t trust your partner to honor you.
 
When you don’t have to explain over and over what respect looks like, you are free to fully dive deep into the depths of each other’s souls and just keep going!
You can explore every sensual boundary
Every delicate part of humanity
You can create an intimacy that activates every cell in your body and splits your soul so wide open that you’ll never be the same again
With clothes on AND off
Attraction is important, but spark is over-rated.
 
Spark is simply your brain receiving messages that the person who is ‘sparking’ you has trauma patterns that match yours, so they will be a great playmate for playing out your trauma.
Over and over again.
 
As I let my brain integrate this new way of being, I’m excited to experience it!
I have a looooooong way to go until my relationship trauma is healed, but I’m here for it.
Sign. Me. Up. 🥰😋🤤

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