*𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧*

Humans are not taught how to communicate.

We aren’t taught how to ask for our needs to be met.

We aren’t taught how to communicate desires.

We aren’t taught how to communicate that a boundary has been crossed or when something has hurt our feelings.

Or to be more precise: in a ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 way

I’ve been on a quest to develop non-romantic, emotionally intimate relationships with all people for about a year now, and it is exquisite.

When you can have a conversation with someone and feel safe to be completely naked in front of them. No softeners. No filters. No masks…

Because they don’t judge you.

They don’t try to coach you without consent.

They don’t try to rescue you from yourself.

They just listen and witness you

It’s simply stunning.

When you can share something that crossed a boundary, or hurt your feelings

Without the other person getting defensive or flipping the script

Or insinuating that you are too sensitive or overreacting

Because you are taking responsibility for your actions, your mental stories and assumptions, and you are sharing from a real, tender, raw place

And making requests that honor the other, and don’t ask them to change who they are, but maybe be more mindful about how a specific behavior affects you

And giving them the space to consent into honoring your boundary or opting out …

Realizing that at all times you can hold yourself and you don’t need anyone’s agreement to keep yourself okay and out of harm’s way

There is ABSOLUTELY beautiful, magical stuff right in the middle of that.

A kind of closeness (intimacy, if you will) that is unparalleled.

And I decided along the way, that those are the only types of connections I’m available for.

It can be daunting for someone new who enters the arena. Especially because we live in a heart-guarded world of pretense,  secrecy, and agenda, so to be confronted with so much heart-openness and truth and be overwhelming at first

But it’s fine. Because they also get their own requests and boundaries and play spaces in the arena. It just takes a minute to adapt.

I invite you to venture into the world of Non-violent communication (it’s a book) and non-romantic emotional intimacy.

It’s fucking gorgeous.