𝐎𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫-𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟//

blocked change changing behavior homeostasis making more money stuck tantrum weight loss Jun 06, 2024

I had a realization this morning sparked by a convo I had with Samuel, my biz partner, last night.

We were talking about the actual magic being in the journey of getting to a goal.

And yes, we talk about this in society conceptually, but I would say few of us actually understand what it really 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠.

We are great at saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination”. But do we really get it?

Or is it just something we are saying because we hope that the destination will hear our sincerity and commitment and arrive earlier? 😆

Last night, we were breaking it down, and really diving into what happens to your self-trust, your belief in yourself, your confidence, your ability to hold yourself etc when you take time to work towards a goal that 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑠 time. That is not possible to be accomplished overnight.

So this morning, when I found myself back in irritation (for the love of God, it’s been so many days now! 🥵), and I sat with it, I started to see it from a new perspective.

My body is learning a new way to be.

And I realized….. these are the moments where change happens. Like ACTUALLY.

This is what it feels like: It feels like my body is a 5 yr old child, that has been asking for a cookie every night before dinner, and I have been the “doting” parent that said yes each time.

Because I came from a childhood of extreme abuse, so when I pendulumed over to the other side, I did so at an equal measure of my abuse.

But suddenly, I’m saying “no” to the cookie, and my body is throwing an all-out tantrum. Just like a 5 yr old would. 

Just as we have to learn to tie our shoes, and write the alphabet with a pencil in painstaking fashion to get it into our brains, we also have to recondition the body to do things in a new way. And we are older. So we have more years of the old way under our belt. 😬

And doing this new behavior especially when it isn’t new, or sparkly or exciting is the EXACT moment change happens.

As one of my clients said one day: It’s the two extra sit-ups you really can’t do that build your muscles.

And I realized this is true of everything.

I can see this in my clients, as they thrash against new behaviors to allow more money to flow in or allow life to get better.

It’s just the body going “But I don’t know this way. I don’t like this way. I want the old way”

So realize this: when you are trying to do something new and you hit a wall of frustration, of internal conflict, of irritation- it’s just your inner 5 yr old throwing a tantrum.

Do you give in and reset, knowing you are going to have to come right back here at some point?

Or do you ride it out and move through it as easefully as possible? Giving yourself LOTS of grace along the way.

I mean… I know what I’m choosing. When my kiddo used to throw tantrums was the moment I buckled 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 on my boundaries. 😬

I believe in you. You can do it too. 


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