The idea that we are supposed to learn how to detach from people is psychotic.

We are supposed to attach to things.

Our body is literally biologically structured to love others. And love is attachment.

(Cue: Studies done about Romanian orphans who lived short, painful lives when they were raised without love)

Yes yes, there’s agape love (the general love and positive regard for all creatures) but I’m not ashamed that I love my kid more than I love other people’s kids. Such is my design.

So to receive the message that you aren’t supposed to feel a thing that you are biologically designed to feel is madness-making.

We are supposed to attach. To our children. Our partners. Our communities. To our future outcomes. We are supposed to CARE. 💜

You’ve seen in the news what happens to parents who DON’T attach to their children or don’t care about their communities and their world.

This idea that it is considered a weakness or failure to be attached to things and people is ludicrous.

I love my boyfriend. I am attached to him. I care deeply when things don’t go well for him.

I love my child. I crave the best things in life for them.

I loooooove my home. I feel safe, secure and protected inside of it.

I don’t carry any shame around KNOWINGLY being attached to these things.

What is commonly misunderstood, is that attachment and a “demanding expectation of the world to be something other than what it is” are the same thing.

They aren’t.

One is love. One is a denial and refusal to accept reality.

I don’t even consider expectation a bad thing.

Expectations shape reality.

When I expect my day to go well, it generally does. When I expect to see the good in others, I do. When I expect the world to operate in favor of my highest and best good: it does.

The type of expectation that creates suffering (and is therefore a less favorable choice for me) is what I mentioned before:
A rigid and demanding expectation that the world (and everything in it) be different than it actually is in reality.

Thrashing against what is will always be painful. And it’s a choice.

You can demand that the world be different than it is.

Or you can accept that it’s not a do something about it.

But for heaven’s sake don’t listen to this bullshit narrative that you aren’t supposed to attach to anything.

That’s someone, somewhere who would prefer you to live in isolation rather than surrounded by love.