We use “safety” for two different systems. They talk to each other, but they’re not the same.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒇𝒆𝒕𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒄𝒌 — baseline/homeostasis (the thermostat)

Role: Defends the overall comfort zone. Keeps life the same because “same = safe.”

What it does: Pulls you back to the familiar, even when the familiar is miserable.

Everyday tells:

We get a raise → somehow spend more or slow down until income snaps back to “normal.”

We leave a toxic dynamic → accidentally recreate it with a new person because chaos feels familiar.

We stall on a new offer/habit because “different” pings as unsafe, so we delay, tidy, plan, repeat.

Safety Lock = “Don’t change the baseline.”

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎 𝑳𝒐𝒄𝒌 — state/response (the alarm)

Role: Decides how we respond to outside or internal events.

What it does: When we’re trapped outside ventral vagal (safe-and-social), we get hooked into fight, flight, or freeze and respond to everything from that state—regardless of what the event actually means.

Everyday tells:

About to raise prices → heart races, tunnel vision, hands shake → we avoid or over-explain. (fight/flight)

Partner asks a simple question → brain blanks, we go numb or appease to make it stop. (freeze/fawn)

We sit down to rest → guilt + agitation spike like alarms, so we pop back up and “stay busy.” (flight)

One critical comment → body treats it like danger; we argue, run, or shut down—before we even think.

Nervous System Lock = “If anything pings threat, run the survival script.”

How they relate (and act alone)

𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫: Safety Lock keeps the life-baseline small; Nervous System Lock freaks out anytime we push the edge. Double bind.

𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲:

Safety Lock without NS Lock: We calmly resist change (no panic, just “later” forever).

NS Lock without Safety Lock: We want change, but our body overreacts to neutral stuff and hijacks the moment.

Bottom line:

Safety Lock governs the overall zone we’re allowed to live in.

Nervous System Lock governs the felt experience and our instant reactions to events.

Every lock has a key. And that key is Miracle Coding.

Dissolve the baseline defense.

Recode the survival script.

Then growth stops feeling like danger—and starts holding.