“𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭”

One of my clients said this the other day.

We are navigating the shift between his former self and his next version of self.

As parts of his old peace keeper wounding drop away, and new, stronger, more sovereign parts with boundaries reveal themselves

He was having trouble letting go of his old self.

The feeling he described was like being tied to a pole and a horse, and pulled.

For me, it varies.

Early on in my journey, it felt like a huge bolder was grinding back and forth, grinding me into the finest dust. So that all toxicity was ground out, and I could piece together a new, healthier version of me.

Then later in my journey, I would hibernate in my cocoon for months, turn completely into mush, and reemerge as a beautiful butterfly.

Now, it feels like my old identity is a rigid, porcelain version of me that keeps losing big chunks, leaving only light underneath.

Some people call it an “ego death”, some people call it an evolution. It’s just growth.

You are a crab that has grown out of its shell and you need a new shell, but for a while, your soft, fleshy parts are exposed as you leave the safety of what you know to grow into your more appropriate, right-sized shell.

When we try to hold onto the old shell, we experience pain, suffering, extreme fear and anger. (Imagine 𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 outgrowing the space you live in. Like Alice in Wonderland with her legs out the front door)

My advice: let go.

I told my client to let himself be pulled apart.

It is the old skin peeling off to reveal the brand new, gorgeous version of you beneath, exactly like a snake shedding its skin.

It only feels scary. The more you resist, the more it will hurt.

Let. It. Go.