Why Your Body Turns Into a Total Dick When You Try to Level Up.

1. Your brain decides to cosplay as a goldfish during your big moment

You've rehearsed this pitch 47 times. You could recite it in your sleep. But the second you open your mouth in front of the investors, your brain goes: "Speech? What's speech? I only know how to breathe and blink now."

You think you're an idiot. Your nervous system thinks it's a hero for saving you from the "deadly threat" of being perceived. Thanks, brain. Really helping out here.

2. Your immune system becomes a drama queen

Mysterious flu on the day of your dream interview? Food poisoning before your first keynote? Your immune system is literally throwing a tantrum like a toddler who doesn't want to leave the playground.

"But I don't WANT to be successful! Success is scary! Let me just shut down all non-essential functions until you come to your senses and go back to being mediocre!"

3. You turn into a human sloth when things get good

Business booming? Can't get out of bed. Opportunities flowing? Energy = zero. You think you're broken. Your body thinks it's running the most sophisticated energy management system in the universe.

"Whoa there, Speed Racer. You're expanding too fast. Time for a mandatory nap... for the next three weeks. I'll be preserving your energy for the inevitable catastrophe."

4. You become an emotional tsunami over spilled milk

Someone gives you mild feedback and you cry for 6 hours. Your nervous system is basically that friend who goes from zero to "EVERYONE HATES US AND WE'RE GOING TO DIE ALONE" because someone didn't text back immediately.

You think you're unstable. Your nervous system thinks it's the Navy SEALs of emotional protection, treating constructive criticism like incoming artillery.

5. Your memory conveniently becomes Swiss cheese

Forgot to submit the million-dollar proposal? Oops! Somehow "lost" the contact info for your dream client? Whoopsie!

Your brain is playing dumb like a criminal mastermind: "I have no recollection of these important tasks that would advance your life, Your Honor."

6. You transform into a walking disaster movie

Coffee on laptop. Trips on flat surfaces. Doors suddenly become aggressive. You think you need bubble wrap. Your body thinks it's creating very creative roadblocks.

"If she can't walk straight, she definitely can't walk into that boardroom. I'm basically a safety expert."

7. Technology starts treating you like you're radioactive

WiFi dies during your webinar. Computer crashes during your launch. Your phone develops mysterious glitches. You think you're cursed. Your electromagnetic field is literally having an anxiety attack and taking all nearby electronics with it.

Even your devices are like: "Nope, we're not participating in this expansion nonsense."

8. Your stomach becomes a picky toddler or a bottomless pit

Success happening? No appetite for days OR you eat everything in sight. You think you lack self-control. Your digestive system is either playing dead or stress-hoarding like it's preparing for the apocalypse.

"Good things happening? Time to either shut down all operations or consume everything within a 5-mile radius. No middle ground."

9. Sleep becomes as elusive as your success used to be

Dream job offer comes through? No sleep for you! Your brain decides 3 AM is the perfect time to review every possible way this could go wrong. For weeks.

"I know you're excited about this opportunity, but have you considered that success means more responsibility and what if you fail and everyone judges you and—" SHUT UP, BRAIN.

10. Your life becomes a reality TV show (and not the good kind)

Business thriving? Time for relationship drama! Money flowing? Family emergency! You think you're cursed. Your nervous system is producing chaos like it's getting paid by the episode.

"Things are going too well. Quick! Create some familiar dysfunction so we can get back to our regularly scheduled suffering!"

**Plot Twist:** Your body isn't actually trying to ruin your life. It's just a very dramatic, overprotective helicopter parent who thinks anything outside of what you've survived before is basically a death trap.

It's not personal. It's biological. Your nervous system is literally doing its job—it's just that its job description was written when you were surviving, not thriving.

The good news? Once you teach your body that expansion won't kill you (spoiler alert: it won't), it becomes your biggest cheerleader instead of your most creative saboteur.

Until then, just know that every time you blame yourself for these "failures," you're basically apologizing for your body being really, REALLY good at its job. Which is keeping you alive by keeping you exactly the same.

*Thanks for nothing, biology.* 😆😬🙄