๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Apr 01, 2025
๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐จ๐ซ๐๐๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ ๐๐จ๐๐๐ก’๐ฌ ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ฅ.
Tightly-wound. Obsessively measured. Disguised as health.
And for 8 months, I followed every rule.
I ate “right.”
I tracked everything.
I did what I was told my body needed to rebalance.
And it ๐ค๐๐๐๐๐.
My blood markers improved.
My energy got better.
I even looked the way I wanted to.
But underneath the progress?
I was raging.
I felt ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ฆ I couldn’t breathe in.
And when I couldn’t keep it up anymore,
my body rebelled.
I rebelled.
Hard.
The past 6 months have been a wave of pushback.
Eating things I know inflame me.
Swinging between rebellion and guilt.
Wanting to feel free but terrified that I’ll spiral.
Because when control is all you’ve known…
๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ.
But now, I see it clearly:
This isn’t about food.
It never was.
It’s about the pattern I’ve been breaking across every area of my life:
“๐ผ ๐๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐.”
And now I’m done.
I’m done following rules that leave my soul starving.
I’m done rebelling just to prove I can.
I’m done choosing between rigidity and chaos.
I’m learning to lead my body for the first time.
Not manage her. Not manipulate her.
๐๐๐๐ ๐ก๐๐ซ.
With love. With listening. With devotion.
I don’t need to be “good” anymore. That requires someone else’s judgment and approval.
I want to be free.
And I want my body to trust me with that freedom.
Not a before-and-after.
Not a lesson wrapped in a bow.
Just a real-time reckoning.
A new contract with my body.
One where we both get to win 
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