โœ… Thank You, Player One. Youโ€™re In.

The console just lit up and the first email is already warping its way to your inbox.

Youโ€™ve officially entered the Super Mario Bros Guide to Beating Self-Sabotageโ€” aka the 5-level reality reboot your nervous system didnโ€™t see coming.

Check your inbox (and spam folder, because Bowserโ€™s petty like that) and get ready to:

๐ŸŽฎ Smash old patterns
๐Ÿ„ Collect cheat codes for real-world expansion
๐Ÿ‘น Face your Final Boss (hint: it lives in your brainstem)

Level 0 drops in minutes.

Until then, hydrate. Breathe. Maybe stretch. Youโ€™re about to glitch reality. โšก

YOUR NEXT STEPS.

Let's make the most out of our time together, shall we?

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